Sometimes strength comes from a place where you least expect to find it. You never know what your simple act of compassion is going to mean for that person, or how much they will be affected or changed by it.
My heart has been so burdened lately, lost in so much despair and worry. I have come to a point in my life where I find myself unable to pray…
It isn’t that I have lost faith in God. It isn’t that I don’t believe in prayer.
I feel somewhere deep inside my limit on prayer request has expired. I can’t explain what it is I feel deep inside or why. I just struggle to pray anymore.
I stopped praying for myself in my early twenties, and now I struggle to pray for things that are important to me.
Yesterday was a difficult day for me. My husband called and told me that I needed to call our insurance company, because they had called. I made the call and spoke to Mr. Brewer over the phone. He has always been such a kind and caring man. When I found out it had only been a courtesy call to see how we were, I couldn’t pass up the chance to speak about my family’s trials at this time. He asked if I was a christian and I said of course, then chuckled remembering a lot people aren’t.
He began to pray…I began to weep… He continued to pray…. and my heart began to open.
When I hung up the phone, I began to sob. I cried for everything that my family is going through and has gone through.
My poor dogs sat before me with their heads tilted in concern, wondering how to help me.
When I could no longer cry. I washed my face and as the water ran down my face. I let it cleanse my soul, and remind me, what happens, happens, and all I can do is the best that I can, no more, no less.
I wonder if my insurance man realizes the strength he gave me to continue on, tonight I will speak to God, because once again he provided me with a reminder that I am never alone.
Today I am grateful for courtesy calls.